Proverbs 27:14 says, “If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.” That proverb always evokes such a scene of hilarity in my mind that I nearly burst into laughter each time I remember it!
Can you imagine the scene? It’s 3am and you hear shouting outside your window. You get up and look out to see your closest friend standing on your fence, shouting your name. You open up your window to hear what he is saying, and this is what you hear: Brother, I just came by to say that I speak blessing over you and your family! I know you’re going through hardship at work, so I speak blessing over your job as well! And may God keep your body from sickness . . .
Have you ever received an “early morning blessing?” You know what I mean by an early morning blessing, right? A gift that is less than desirable . . . a favor that is less than favorable. Have you ever had someone give you a gift that you simply didn’t like? What do you do in that situation?
There are two basic options: you can be gracious, or you can be honest.
If you take the gracious route, you will have to focus your mind on the fact that all gifts are freely given, and the one who gave you this gift gave it out of a desire to bless and encourage you. It is good for you to simply communicate thankfulness for it and receive it with joy.
If you take the honesty route, you will have to find a way to communicate the fact that a a gift that does not correspond to the need and/or want of the receiver in any way is not really a gift at all.
The gracious route is an attempt to avoid appearing arrogant. The honesty route is an attempt to avoid being pretentious. If I accept the gift, even though I hate it, I’m being fake and pretentious. But if I tell you how much I hate the gift, I’m being ungrateful and arrogant. So what are you supposed to do?
My way of handling these types of situations is to make graciousness my default setting. I will graciously receive a gift even if I don’t like it, except in the following situations.
1. If receiving a gift would create an intrusion, inconvenience, or interruption to my personal or family life, I will very graciously decline. For instance, I have a friend who came over my house and cooked for my family one night. After the meal was over, he promptly left without cleaning the kitchen. When I went in to clean it, it was the biggest mess I had ever seen in my life. It took me two hours to clean it! The next time he offered to come over and cook, I suggested that he cook the food at his house and bring it over. I appreciated his gesture, but I also don’t have an extra two hours to clean a kitchen.
2. If a giver promises to give the same gift repeatedly, I will very graciously decline. I very well-meaning person started bringing me articles of used clothing that were give aways from a street clothing bin for homeless people a couple of years ago. The first time it happened I thanked her and kept moving. But when she brought me clothes a second time, I knew that it would continue if I didn’t stop it. So I very politely asked her not to bring me any more clothes from the street bin.
But these situations are the exceptions, not the rule. The rule is graciousness, and the context is intimacy. The whole point of giving a gift is to demonstrate your knowledge of a person. The great thing is that when a person who knows you very well brings you a gift that you don’t like, you can simply ask them for the receipt and exchange it; no harm done. Intimacy provides the context in which graciousness and honesty can come together, so that you can be graciously honest, and honestly gracious whether you receive a gift with thanksgiving, or request a receipt and a retry.
Share your thoughts:
When was the last time you received an early morning blessing? How did you handle that?
