And surely I am with you always; to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)
When I was little I had a very sensitive conscience. I was always afraid that Jesus would come and I wouldn’t be ready, and in fact, it was taught in the church where I grew up that if Jesus came and there was some sin in your life that was unresolved, he would leave you behind in a heartbeat!
So we were constantly searching our hearts to see to it that we were ready for the coming of the Lord. But, of course, my young heart was always afraid that I was not ready, and I always seemed to have evidence to support this idea.
One night, when I was about thirteen years old, my parents went out on a date and left me home to watch my brothers. My mom called the house from a pay phone at the restaurant to check on us, and in the middle of our conversation, her dime ran out and the call was cut off. This, to me, was a sure sign that the Lord had returned for his people, and he had found me unfit for the kingdom; my brothers and I had been left behind!
I immediately called my brothers into the living room of our home, made them get on their knees, and with tears in my eyes (I was dead serious about this!) I exhorted them to repent before God and beseech him for the salvation of our souls. And I led the way with loud cries and petitions, with weeping and deep contrition. It was a pitiable sight, to say the least.
My brothers couldn’t really get into this, but they stayed by my side, nonetheless. We were all more than a little relieved to hear the sound of our parent’s vehicle pull up in the driveway that night. Alas, the Lord had not yet come for his people, and we had not been left behind.
Jesus promised his disciples that he would be with them always, to the very end of the age. Why, then, do we so often feel that we have been abandoned by the Lord? Perhaps you have never believed you have missed the coming of the Lord (but if you have, you must relate the story in a comment below!), but there have surely been times in your life in which you felt as though the Lord was not there with you. And if you are like most believers, you’ve experienced more of the absence of the Lord than the presence of the Lord.
Our experience follows our faith; because I had believed that there was a strong possibility that Jesus would leave me behind, I had a host of experiences to support this theory. I had dreams of being left behind, and I once visited someone’s home and found the tv on, food cooking on the stove, the water running in the sink in the bathroom . . . and yet, no one was home! All of these experiences became evidence for me that I was certainly unfit for the kingdom of God, and that I would most likely miss the sound of the trumpet and be left behind.
What kind of experiences have you had? Perhaps, you have felt alone and abandoned, or uncared for, or neglected . . . In some way or another, the matrix of your life experiences have confirmed your belief about God. Is he near, or is he far? Your experience of his presence will be determined by what you believe about his presence.
Share your thoughts:
Have you ever been afraid that God had left you, or that he was done with you? What was that like?
