I was often confused during my High School years when my friends would make jokes about “jerking off,” porn, and related subjects. I had never masturbated before, and in fact, I had no idea what it was or how to do it. One day I took a friend aside and asked him to explain it to me, and when he did, I told him that was the stupidest thing I had every heard before in my life, and that I couldn’t understand why anybody would want to do that!
It wasn’t until my senior year of college that I discovered what everyone was talking about . . . It was December of 1997 and my girlfriend had broken up with me on Christmas day because she had found another [better] guy. This experience provided me with just enough pain, just enough emptiness, just enough shame . . . to facilitate the desire–the need–to take matters into my own hands.
All I wanted in that season was a little relief from my pain . . . the ability to feel good about myself again. Instead, I opened pandora’s box, and unwittingly thrust myself into the throes of an ancient struggle that I had managed to avoid for 21 years.
Thankfully, during my first year of seminary, God lovingly exposed me before the right group of people, who held me accountable, gave me consistent encouragement, and created the right context for the cultivation of the kind of faith that leads to freedom and purity.
I’m not going to pretend that I never struggled again after that season, but I will say that what I discovered was the way out . . . the way to sexual purity. And I’m convinced that at this hour there is almost no message that believers need to hear more than this: You can be sexually pure, and you can stay sexually pure!
But the how is important. How do you get pure when you’ve been impure? What is the way back into purity? The first answer to that question is pretty standard: you must come to grips with the seriousness of the consequences of sexual impurity.
- Sexual impurity pulls you out of the presence of God and restricts you to the presence of shame.
- Sexual impurity compromises the intimacy of your present or future marriage relationship by causing you to take for yourself that which should only be given to you by your spouse
- Sexual impurity trains your mind and body to believe that the goal of sexual intimacy is to orgasm, which leads you to objectify your present or future spouse, thus destroying the foundation of intimacy and trust
- Sexual impurity thwarts your pursuit of your destiny in God by making the pursuit of purity the focus of your spirituality
- Sexual impurity causes everything around you to decay and cuts you off from full participation in God’s nature (2 Peter 1:4).
All of these things are true and real and must be taken seriously. But knowing these things alone is not enough to bring you back into a life of purity. At best, knowing these things alone will stimulate in you a desire to try harder. But you cannot get pure simply by trying harder!
It’s interesting to me that when someone comes to faith in Christ for the first time we tell them that there is absolutely nothing that they can do to free themselves from their sins, and that they must fully trust Christ to save them and cleanse them. But when a believer confesses that they are entangled in sin, we tell them that they must try harder!
Try harder? Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh (Galatians 3:3)?
Your trying harder didn’t get you saved, your trying harder can’t keep you saved, and your trying harder definitely has no power to make you pure!
The real key to purity is not trying, but believing! That’s right; the same thing that got you saved when you came to Jesus for the first time will get you clean and keep you clean!
Unbelief is always at the core of any and every type of sin. This is because whatever does not proceed from faith is sin (Romans 14:23).
The way of faith is the way of purity!
Do you really believe that God is able to keep you from falling and to present you blameless before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy (Jude 1:24)? Do you really believe that if you confess your sin he is faithful and just to forgive your sin and to keep you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)?
Yes, we must flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18); but where do we flee to?
Most believers mistakenly think that we must flee to the mountain of repentance. No! Repentance is the way, not the destination. Repentance is the path that leads to the mountain of faith! But most believers never ascend the mountain of faith because they believe that all they need is the path of repentance.
But repentance without faith is powerless to procure purity! Jesus didn’t simply command people to repent, as John the Baptist did; Jesus commanded people to repent AND BELIEVE THE GOSPEL (Mark 1:15)!
If you are battling for your purity today, you need to ascend the mountain of faith and begin to believe the gospel again! You must believe that there is power in the blood of Jesus not only to forgive, but to cleanse! We have believed for forgiveness long enough; now we must begin to believe in the cleansing power of the blood of the Lamb!
Jesus is coming for a spotless bride without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. We must not make the mistake of forging a treaty with our spots and wrinkles. He stands ready to remove every one of them!
I know you’ve fallen a thousand times! I know you’re ashamed and afraid and you feel like a failure! But you must lift your eyes above your failure and begin to behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world (John 1:29)! You will never get free from your sin by reflecting upon your sinfulness; but you will get free by focusing your mind and heart upon God’s righteousness.
God is not only just, but he is the justifier of many. He is not only pure, but he is the purifier of many. He is not only holy, but he makes holy; not only mighty, but he makes mighty.
Living sexually pure takes more than mere repentance; it takes faith!
I challenge you to rise up in faith today . . . not faith in your resolve to walk clean, but faith in God’s power–the life-giving power of the Holy Spirit–to make you clean, keep you clean, and present you blameless before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy!
