Last week I wrote about the great generational crisis that is felt so acutely around high school graduation time. Statistically, 60% of our young people who have attended church during their high school years have not only graduated from high school, but have graduated from church as well. One of the root causes for this mass exodus that I identified in my last entry is the growing generational divide and transient model of discipleship that contemporary Christianity has embraced. This week I want to talk about one of the first steps that I believe we need to take in order to heal this divide and re-engage our youth with the gospel.
My thesis is this: The church is not the place where the great generational crisis will be healed. This crisis can only be healed in the home. The challenge is that we live in a day and age in which parents feel powerless to influence the decisions and attitudes of their children once they hit a certain age. Many godly parents watch helplessly as their children turn away from God and make lifestyle choices that are antithetical to the values that they were taught. We must empower parents to believe that they are not helpless, they are not powerless . . .
We must recover the power of the parent if we are going to see a revival breakout amongst the youth of this generation.
The Most Powerful Component of Parenting
This morning I played golf with my dad and youngest brother. We do this about twice a year or so . . . right around Father’s Day, or someone’s birthday. Charles golfs regularly and well. Dad and I . . . well, we golf when Charles is in town.
About halfway through the round this morning I asked my dad a question that has been on my heart for some time. I said, Dad, have you noticed that all of your children love the Lord and serve the Lord? How did that happen? Do you ever think about that?
I think about it all the time, was his immediate response. But he didn’t have an answer to the question, and neither did I, really. When we think of what God has done for our family, all we can do is give him the glory for it and attribute it all to his grace.
I think my parents would be the first to admit that they did not parent us perfectly. I say that not as a criticism, but just as an observation. In fact, I haven’t met any perfect parents. And we weren’t perfect children either.
We didn’t grow up overly sheltered. We lived in East Oakland, surrounded by every temptation and danger imaginable. And at times different ones of us gave in to those temptations in various degrees and at various times. Each of us made our own bad decisions at different times.
But for me, there was always something to keep me from going too far . . . something that have a hold of my leg and just wouldn’t allow me to pull away from it. And for my brother, even though he ventured out into the world of sin further than the rest of us, there was always something more powerful than the world working on behalf of my parents.
As I discussed this with my father this morning, it became more clear to me than ever before that the power behind their parenting was nothing other than good, old fashioned, prayer.
Sounds cliche, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not in the least bit.
You see, my parents didn’t just pray; they prayed publicly. They didn’t hide in their room and meditate; when it was time to pray, they went into the living room, got on their hands and knees, and lifted up loud voices laden with tears and many shandos (speaking in tongues).
Looking back on my childhood I can clearly see that this was the most powerful component of their parenting.
I remember being downstairs in my room, talking to someone I shouldn’t have been talking to, when suddenly I began to hear the loud cries coming from my parent’s room. O Lord, lay your hand on Benjamin . . . Use his life for your glory . . .
Uh, listen gurl, I gotta go!
My parents didn’t have to say anything to me. All they had to do was start talking to God about me, and it was enough to bring me into order in a moment. But the key was their commitment to praying out loud, in public.
It is easy for us parents to abdicate control of the spiritual atmosphere of our homes to our children. We all desire to provide a vibrant spiritual atmosphere for our children to grow up in, but we must realize that such an atmosphere will not create itself, and our children will not create it for us. If our children are to grow up in a vibrant spiritual atmosphere, we must do the hard work of creating it.
The Burden of the Lord
One of the marks of the prayer lives of both of my parents was what they used to call the burden. I remember many nights when my mother had a burden that kept her up late into the night, weeping and crying out to the Lord in the living room. I would venture out of bed, poke my head around the corner, and say, Mom, what’s wrong? Are you ok? She would look at me with a smile and say, Everything is ok, Benjamin. Go back to bed.
Whenever my mother prayed under the burden the Lord, I knew that something serious was happening, but I also knew that my mother could pray it through.
I remember my father getting a burden for us once during my senior year of high school. We were at a Sunday night church service, and both my brother Josh and I had plans with our friends right after church. We both approached him and asked him if we could go out with our friends. He turned towards us with tears in his eyes, and said, No! You don’t know how much time you have left! You need to get on your knees right now and find God!
The burden of the Lord was so heavy on him at that moment that we immediately obeyed without protesting. It was that serious!
The Power of the Parent
What I am describing is the power of the parent, not just the power of my parents. If you are a parent, you have a God-given authority over the atmosphere of your home! Don’t let your children rule the spiritual atmosphere of your home. Go get on your knees in the living room and pray until heaven comes down!
Now, if you have never done this before, don’t think that your children are going to automatically submit to this. In fact, they will probably rebel against it with all their might. They might ask you to stop so they can hear the TV, and they almost definitely won’t want to come pray with you. But don’t be discouraged! Don’t stop!
Taking authority over the spiritual atmosphere of your home takes only a moment, but seeing the fruit of it in the lives of your children will take time . . . perhaps even years.
You must overcome the resistance! Satan is going to fight this tooth and nail. He is going to try to convince you that you’re not spiritual enough, that you don’t have enough of the Spirit’s power, that it’s too late for your children, that you should’ve started this when they were young . . .
You must block all of that out! You must press on!
It’s time for the church to come to the aid of the parent. Parents, you cannot afford to be defeated in your home another day! You must take authority!
But you will need support. Go to your small group and tell them that you’ve decided to take control of the atmosphere of your home. Ask them to intercede for you, and check in with them every week. Go to your pastor and ask for his covering and prayer support as you begin to take your place in your home.
You will be strongly resisted.
You will also be strongly supported.
Take heart; the power that supports you is far greater than that which resists you. Greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world.
The power of the parent is the key to overcoming the great generational crisis that we are now facing. Why not let it begin with you?
