Love is unconditional, but respect is earned. This is a very popular piece of foolishness. Respect and love cannot ultimately be differentiated. You cannot claim to love those who you blatantly disrespect, at least not in the active sense of love. Respect is a byproduct of love. If love is unconditional, then respect is unconditional as well.
There is scarcely an environment in which the need for this truth is needed more acutely than in the realm of marriage.
Husband, your wife did not and could not have earned your love. You gave it to her freely out of the depths of your heart. It’s a gift, not a wage. And wife, your respect for your husband should be just as freely given. He can never earn the type of adoration that he deserves as the object of your affection. If you don’t give it to him freely, he will never have it.
Wives that wait for their husbands to become respectable before they respect them are just as silly as husbands who are hoping that their wives will one day become lovable. Respect the covenant that you made with him . . . the covenant to love, honor, and respect him. Respect the covenant you made with her . . . the covenant to love, honor, and cherish her.
This is the season to remember . . . to remember love. Remember when it was free and new, when it was fresh and clean. You can recover what has been lost. In fact, you’ve never lost it. It’s always been there waiting for you. You can pick it back up as surely as Elisha picked up the mantle of Elijah.
But nothing can help your marriage . . . no counseling, no workshop, no book, no therapist, no pastor, nothing . . . unless you are willing to simply begin to love and respect again. Unconditionally, irrevocably . . . freely you have received; freely give.
